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People who are avoidant find emotional intimacy triggering and unsafe. They cope with this by being: distant, shut down, and hyper-independent. Avoidance (like all attachment styles) happens on a spectrum. The more they experienced betrayal, shaming, rejection, or abandonment growing up— the more the impulse will be to self focus. Unlike someone with anxious attachment— who soothes through reassurance and attachment to a partner, someone who’s avoidant soothes through fleeing and self reliance.
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